we made a giant pot of alcholic jello. i filled a gallon bag and brought it to dorms. desk guy gave me weird looks, he doesnt realize this is how i will pass all of my room searches
Either I get my picture taken sitting on a fuckin pony, or I'm not coming.
We have to give a final comment in english, i think i might say "i learned it's a bad idea to make out with people in your classes who have girlfriends."
I just masturbated to the audio from my psych lecture . . . this screwing my prof fantasy is getting serious.
My mom woke me up in a bubble bath this morning.
She made me be the little spoon then she pretended to be a jet pack for an hour straight
Even though he was watching you pee on his bedroom floor, you kept denying it and saying he was dreaming
I don't understand how 5 bottles of booze became normal or acceptable per 2.5 people
I've never felt more disgusting in my life. And I'm including the time I snuggled that homeless woman in the puddle of my whiskey vomit.
Oh jesus...leave it to you to hit on not one but two guys who can't fuck you till marriage.
I'm getting a collar when he gets back in to town! That's like the bdsm equivalent of getting his class ring!
Grandma's bordering on serious shit show territory at this point.
This bowl is so big, I just said out loud, "I'm going to die here" as I blew smoke out the cat door. Merry fucking Christmas.
The first thing you did was give us a tour of the house and showed us who was "on-limits" and "off-limits"
Where is everybody?
It's pretty much split between the strip club and jail.
Randomize
