I wouldn't necessarily call it an addiction, more of a passion. I'm habitually passionate.
he's making romantic advances towards me. and he has a pet snake. 2nd part not relevant, but interesting.
He came on my face and told me I looked like a gingerbread house.
Just found custom condoms. Guess I'm not getting any work done today.
Dude they have your information. Come back. The sheriffs office is here, they are pissed..please come back otherwise jail is inevitable. Call me
Circumcision scars are like fingerprints. I think I'm on to something man.
Would you be offended if I asked you to smoke a blunt with me while I pooped?
your ex girlfriend just barged in my house, drunk, mumbled something about "car strip", and put a huge hole in my drywall with her head.
My prof gave me extra credit for drawing a ninja on my paper and writing "ninja will up my grade"
I feel like i could break down a fucking wall with this boner
Soooo, coming over soon?
Really? Uh ohh sounds like a double date with extra stripper funnnn
URGENT INPUT I'm at a renesance fair after party and I'm 100% lined up to fuck their sword swallower OR their contortionist. Dont say both - which direction doth I roll?
The night went downhill when he took his pants off at our table and walked up to women saying "Special delivery"
If a guy makes a dick joke within 24 hrs of matching am I just setting myself up for disaster if I say yes to a date lol
Love that I’m sending my uber driver a thank you message for taking me home via mcdonalds tonight before I’m messaging my date from tonight! Lol
Randomize
