How fat would you say she has to be before I can consider this a threesome
FYI: if you have sex in your room with the light on, we can totally see your shadows from the parking lot
Your boyfriend has good rhythm though.
Its official. I've reentered slutty territory. I was a condom away from having sex in a childs playhouse at a park. Oh and I lost my car keys.
Ok I have to ask, whose idea was it to used crushed up norcos as margarita salt? And what did they say to convince everybody else to think it was a good idea?
I know it's not technically the "Mile High Club" but we def need a name for the airport bathroom. Cuz that just happened.
I found a half-finished mass text from my California weekend that said "things I want to rape: you, things, stuff, and le"
I'm attracted to him because he looks like the kind of guy who would lick my asshole without me having to ask.
Is it bad i hate my job so much I'm actively trying to get fired tonight by drinking all the booze we have so I don't have to show up for my double tomorrow. Four mango vodkas later I have decided I'm a better server drunk.
My new boobs got me 12 drinks at the concert. Whose the real winner here?
Probably gonna run and pray I throw up. Then go get a coffee/bagel & continue to rally
It was like being run over by an orgasm freight train.
I just turned down the best booty call of my life because I have to make a cheesecake. I guess this is growing up.
Cum just came out of my nose. That is all.
The creeper at the bar just realized we have the same birthday and bought me four beers already. He walked off so I took his change and dashed, i'm bringing the case over now.
Stupid Covid-19
The universal cock block of this decade
Randomize
