can you have the cops turn on the gps locator on my phone...i just woke up in a Hooters uniform and I have no idea where I am...
if I hooked up with that creppy kkid in bio does that count as doing charity work during the holidays?
even your uterus rejects him.
apparently my uterus is the smartest part of my body.
The only thing better than Call of Duty is getting jerked off while playing Call of Duty.
This gyro tastes like lonliness
Ya well here is the deal with last night, it was the Biggest shit show we have ever co-stared in.
I literally used, "MY VAGINA IS TOO FANTASTIC FOR HIM TO STAY GAY" as a valid argument for attempting to fuck my gay friend.
She frightens me and turns me on at the same time. She's a keeper
Restraining order pending?
Hmmm. I never knew the difference. I've done either one and had stronger or weaker versions but usually if i took enough, i tripped balls. That should be a PSA for kids... if you take drugs and the drugs are weak, just take more drugs... The More You Know
So I just had breakfast and then sex in a parking garage before he went to school and thus I am loving my life
Every guy I've ever fucked is single right now
Pray for me
Vodka Red Bull is like your spinach if you were Popeye
he's smothering me... and not in the good, can you move your thigh off my face please?.. way
its official, you're fucking me on my lunch break. the only thing I want in my mouth is your dick. pick me up at noon.
want fries with that?
She was blacked out at her own party. It felt good to stand next to her while she laid on the floor and say "vomit does not look good on you."
Randomize
