that john and kate plus 8 dude has ruined asians for me
You make shower sex sound like waterboarding
oh, so if i go friday and she's there, you are going to be my sponsor for not banging the crazy chick
If he can forgive your lousy blowjobs, you can ignore his terrible driving.
Okay. So my choices are the sleeping Guy who looks about twelve and a man that looks like he was the original sandman. Im gonna need a beer for this......
THIS CHICK IS LIKE SOME SORT OF HOOKER HOUDINI.
He is 30 (that's 8 years older than I am) and uses more Emojis than I do. Problem?
have you ever seen all dogs go to heaven this is important
& I just realized there is no vomit smiley. There needs to be a vomit smiley
Want to help me look around town for my shorts from last night?
Ok. I'm gonna smoke some weed and look at some elephants without you then.
My heart says buy the granny panties, but my vagina says don't throw in the towel yet.
I am going to bedazzle the shit out of your Basilisk costume.
there must be tiny pirates in the freezer stealing our rum.
New one isn't as good asmy ex. She won't put her tongue up my butt
Peter this is your "ex"
I stand by what i said
Randomize
