Tell your sister I'm no fool. Or at least romanticize the notion of the fool.
i waited two years for her to sleep with me. it just didnt seem worth it.
she lost her virginity three hours after you dumped her.
are you serious?
Bristol Palin says: Remember to use protection
I don't wanna do a drive in or see a movie tonight. I wanna play some Golden Tee and butt fuck a girl in the bathroom of some bar and proceed with Golden Tee
He asked me if I could call his penis destroyer... Uhh SOS.
How would one go about tricking someone into chugging an entire bottle of tequila?
I didn't plan on sleeping with him until he told me his mom is deaf.. Then I felt bad.
CHAZ BONO WILL BE ON THE NEXT SEASON OF DANCING WITH THE STARS.
Internet Is back!
MY NEWS TRUMPS YOURS.
he has decreed that i can sleep with anyone who has the same name as him. line up all the toms
I might not remember all of last night but I clearly remember the part where I humped the mailbox.
He called it restless penis syndrome. I call it cheating.
And your cousins porn shouldn't have been the first straight porn you watched. And for that I am sorry
Ok. Here's the plan. Take your hand (whichever is closest), summon all your nerve, and just stick it right down his pants.
I love you.
He wanted to drink hypnotic from my butt crack. I need to move out this state.
Accidentally typed message to mom that included word "kink." FML. Played it off as autocorrect from "drink" which was somehow more acceptable
Randomize