can "i'm close!" be our safe word(s)?
oh geez, wrong person.
I wish we could go back in time and find our best farts ever
Straightened my pubes. My dick looks like John Lennon fucked Gonzo.
Well hello freshman 15, didn't see you there until I tried on last years summer clothes.
I think it might be brain cancer. Hangovers can't be this bad
She brought a box of chocolates to give the bartender and now he's giving her free shots.. Why didn't we think of that?
You were doing karaoke. Then you screamed "SHOUTOUT TO ADAM LAMBERT" and started making out with the very surprised looking guy next to you.
You swear the intervention is for her? I've fallen for that one twice.
Just took the worst coed shower ever. We both cried. AND I only shaved one leg.
I remember because you made a pirate noise when you came.
I mean I'm screaming I love the gays in the middle of Bart so yeah
You haven't lived until you have fucked while Fantasia is on
Xanax and full house Tuesday is now Percocet Sunday
we will now reference it as "the infamous double dick night"
I just jacked off to nostalgia.
Randomize
