Is it bad to mix sunny d with vodka if i dont have any real OJ?
I've mixd ketchup with vodka before and called it a bloody mary, so, no.
hot girl, 5 o clock
do you know how to read a clock?
Capitaan dildo arrescate!
I think I just found part of a tooth on my bed... What goes on in here?
she pulled the sheets over her head to blow me but the static kept making little lightning bolts and I was too high and got really scared she was going to electrocute me.
I'm not really made for random hookups.. i'm like a swan.. i don't wanna have random swan sex. i just wanna have one swan hubby and fly around the world together and eat bread that people throw at us..
I'm using toast as a chaser. If I wasn't already so fucked up this would be revolting.
I threw away my jacket instead of washing it, the jungle juice stained me more of shame than red food coloring... i have never been that white girl wasted before...
I feel like I'm eight miles away and my brain is just now getting here. You got a lot of fucking catching up to do.
I just found a To Do list on the table, written by me last night, that just says "1. Go downstairs. 2. Get Pickles. 3. Laptop"
Sam was like the mother fucking Moses of drunk and underage kids and he lead them to safety away from the cops. He's a hero that we deserve.
I'm going to book club and then I'm going to get laid. Being in your 20s ain't so bad sometimes.
Can I pee and smoke my bong at the same time or is that like eating on the toilet
I JUST AGREED TO GO TO A CHILD'S BIRTHDAY PARTY AT A PLACE CALLED PUZZLE'S FUN DOME WHY DO I HATE MYSELF
I need an outfit for the bar tmrw that reads I have daddy issues and would like a fancy sugar daddy.
Randomize