did you know they have Ed Hardy school supplies at Target? it's like folders and notebooks for little douchebags in training.
Mental picture: Us at a bar keeping it classy shot gunning PBR's in the corner.
That was a good example of when keeping it real goes right
he was banged his ex for coke the whole time and is still the best guy so far this year. standards need to be raised.
I think that the winner of this years fantasy football league should get naming rights to you child
As added birth control I warned him that if he knocked me up tonight I would name the baby Truck.
We are stranded. Come find us. Bring an egg
I was trying to get everyone to go to the bar but I puked on my hands, so nobody took me seriously.
My mouth feels like it's at the dentist but my body feels like it's at the strip club.
Smoking a bowl in nothing but a flamingo thong.
You give an incredible blow job. I wanted to make sure you know it was appreciated
Hey, it's all about finding the bright side. And boobs are definitely a bright side.
I never thought it would be so hard to find a power hour partner at 2 on a Wednesday
I can't tell if this is a hangover or just a perfect combination of shame and regret
He's far too busy staring into my soul to touch my tits.
Do NOT approach him. He has sex with everything. LITERALLY everything, and I DO mean everything. He's so horny we once caught him with his dick in a pumpkin. A legitimate honest to God pumpkin that he bored a hole in
Randomize
