Gentlemen...shes not going to tie her self to the table...
He told me to fart on his lap because the vibrations turned him on
So me and friend just finished Eiffel towering this girl and sounds great in theory but after the high five has commenced its just a weird threesome especially when you make eye contact with your buddy during the session
Thanks for convincing the hot dog guy to give me one for $1 after I drunkenly dropped the first one. I loved your reasoning "I know you mark that shit up! I work in retail!"
I think I dropped my cock ring in your back yard
Maybe its all the xanax she takes but she literally has NO shame
there's sperm and chicken noodle soup everywhere
She sent me a map and directions for a booty call. In a park. Give me reason not to marry her.
How do I tell a friend I drunkenly broke into his house and may have lost his dog
Just got convinced to trip sit for a pack of cigarettes and a burrito. Let the games begin
He is currently tell his hat to go free. Like he has it sitting on the table just waiting for it to take off. When he's not looking I'm gonna throw it off the balcony and tell him it's flying
So. I need to gloat. I couldn't exactly tell my family that I won this game by deep throating.
I would not be watching the debate if there wasn't drinking involved. Let's be honest.
LinkedIn just suggested I might know the guy I caught my wife fucking.
I can't trust your balls anymore.
I was doing good, then they gave me free shots
Randomize
