U know those big foam mats in the back gym for track?
ya, gonna go have sex there?
No I want one to have wings and pick me up and take me home
Dont you think its a little early in the relationship for sexting?
you kept lying down on the floor at the bar just to prove you could get back up
I just jerked it so loud the neighbor banged on their floor. maybe my wife got the point
just spent about 3 1/2 hours looking for a dollar so I can buy weed.
suggestion: become a stripper.
i dodnt think we hooked up bcause he actually texted me the next day
I bought a 9 dollar purse from payless so if I throw up in it tomorrow, no biggie.
My Yoga instructor is playing the music from 'Requiem for a Dream' it makes me very reluctant to put my ass in the air
If you haven't seen a huge black man in tiny red snowflake shorts that barely cover his dick, then you don't know what I'm going through.
I just looked at your pics on Facebook....there was cake? Where the fuck was I!?
Mainly I just wanna pet bunnies. And purple chicks. Well any color chicks if I close my eyes. But purple if I open them.
Novelty of the week: Getting my lipstick back in an evidence bag
I just need some dick and some jimmy johns
I had forgotten what new underwear feels like. It's as if angels descended from heaven for the sole purpose of supporting my junk.
maybe i should limp back to therapy...
oh yeah will you also bring home vodka i wanna do shots on the roof
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