i puked in the mini-firdge
we don't have a mini-fridge?
bought one. it ws too cheap to pass up. xcept now there's puke in it,,, but the freezer's fine so i feel pretty good about that
His moose knuckle keeps winkin at me
yah I made NO friends last night. at one point i think i replaced talking with spitting
things that need to be invented #43: vodka that also acts as birth control.
Her hair smelled like a rat dipped in mustard on fire
he has officially spend more money on me than any other boy. and its all gone to plan b. awesome.
thank god my boss can't smell the tequila on my breathe over the phone.
I guess I just got drunk and ordered a mini fridge off the internet. At least now I know the 200$ that was missing from my checking account wasn't spent on lap dances only.
Give me one reason I shouldn't put the phrase "sex emotions" into my essay.
No.
YOU DON'T JUST GET TO CALL AND SAY YOU MIGHT BE DEAD, THEN NOT ANSWER!
He told me how it ended, then I blew him.
So he ruined the best cinematic experience of your life and you REWARDED him??
I never thought my Saturday night would end up with someone crawling around my carpet for 3 hours trying to pick up spilled coke...
I never thought my Saturday night would end up with ME crawling around your carpet for 3 hours trying to save my investment.
Yeah I mean I think I need to stop living off of snacks and alcohol
This dude has batman tighty whities on over his cargo pants and he has the nerve to yell "fuck you bitch" up at my window.
I'm serious-it was like trying to deep-throat a minivan.
Randomize
