I think scott just propositioned me for sex
i just shit 3 out of the 4 types of matter
White Russians with skim milk. Fuck I'm healthy.
You are missing out on the best boobs in town right now
He managed to get his pants on, so the cop just sat there facing us with his lights shining in the car. I made shadow puppets.
I refuse to have another spring break doomed by pregnancy.
I saw you eating fruit and doing shots off people passed out
He rode my dog to the bathroom and wouldn't stop laughing once he got in. It was scary.
she's traveling up the coast with her camera and a stash of pot cookies eating food from different campuses. said she slept in a closet 2 states away last nite... of course I'm interested
He shoved his balls through an egg carton and showed us a picture. They were surprisingly egg-like.
On a scale of 1 to "bad descision", where does stealing my racist neighbors dog and giving him my roomates dildo for a chew toy rate?
So apparently they remodeled our middle school. Looks like we'll need to find a new roof to play beer pong on this summer.
I feel like a pet sloth would complement my lifestyle.
you kept shouting 'jesus penis' when i was on the phone with 911
Wanted to let you know I hooked up with your brother.
i thought he was gay wtf
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