it's just weird having a massive boner in the morning when you could have used it the night before.
apparently it's not kosher to shit in a litter box when there's a line for the bathroom
and you tried to get a free burrito from Potbelly's
her parents were awake and in the next room. i think i deserve a big fucking medal for that orgasm.
So, during a 20 minute shower I spent 19 minutes spinning in circles and 1 minute licking the wall, and it was better than sex. I can't wait to do X again.
I am highly attracted to the men and that's all i can say. I do not clap and make noises but i do turn to the side and say how i'd do incredible things to them if given the chance
I found her sleepin on the side of the house in the rocks. so i woke her up and yelled at her and she would only come inside if i let her sleep in the bathroom.
Sorry if this is weird, but please don't have sex in my truck. I get to be the first...
I forgot how easy it is to have sex in public when you're wearing a dress. Thank you global warming.
Turns out he has a 6pack too. Alright adorable snapchatting manwhore dude, you win.
I knew my bag made it because I could smell the fireball that spilled inside of my suitcase before it was on the luggage carousel.
no strings attached, like you could fuck him and then throw him off a building right after
She gave me a boner for the first time in 9 years.
Can you imagine doing supermarket sweep in a sex store? What's the sex store equivalent of a whole ham?
ARE YOU DEAD? TEXT Y FOR YES OR N FOR NO.
Randomize
