Whore.
I was being facetious
Don't try to hide behind big words.
not my fault. i got her to believe he wrote an oasis song. he still managed to find a way to make sure no girl ever gets near his penis.
I will give you a bj if you get me food. NOT A JOKE. FREE BJ.
Dude i just want you to know that when i found you half your mustache was already gone. I didn't do it.
I don't think he understands the importance of corndogs. Or condoms for that matter.
Fourth time I had to be woken up in the line of Whataburger in two weeks. First time my shirt was free of vomit.
Dude...that line about her giving me a blowjob to get rid of her hangover actually got rid of her hangover. Spread the word.
Would you have sex with a guy wearing a Batman mask?
It's all hypothetical, I don't have a Batman mask... yet...
why is there a fishing net hanging from my ceiling fan?
I lost a whole day of my life. Apparemtly I was using my deodrant as a phone. And is my phone there?
Makes sense. My grandma just did this shot. MY FAMILY KICKS ASS.
We can talk about your dick in my throat after a decision is made, this is my hair we're talking about. .. shit's important.
That Kevin guy is something else...His penis is fucking glorious. And he has a way with words. If he lived here I'd be the conductor of the fuck caboose. I mean literally I would never want to get off that thing.
Also I told several people at the bar last night that my dad the alligator wrestler died wrestling an alligator. So if anyone asks that's real.
EVEN AFTER ALL THAT COMPLAINING... STILL NO PENIS
Randomize
