That's the secret to virgins: blizzards.
oh great. the only prospects for sex left for the night are douchebag in the ed hardy shirt & frodo-looking ass
fuck it... i'll be the lord of his rings
i need to buy one of the child leashes to wear at mardi gras or else im never making it out alive
Remember middle school health class where we used to say that when we lost our vcards we would be on the pill, using a condom, and have had our partners tested first? We were so optimistic.
Strip beer pong in the front yard? Of course the cops showed up
Yes, I am about to pass out on my beanbag with a mason jar of wine. Welcome to the south freshmen.
I'm not sure which is more depressing, the fact that the hospital is making me put together a living will before surgery, or that all i'll be leaving behind is 25k in student loan debt
You can't buy drugs with a ziplock bag full of quarters, chuck-e-cheese coins, and a starbucks giftcard.
watch me
So after this weekend I think I'm gonna go down on one knee and propose to my boyfriend that he give me his liver.
Even completely stoned shes amazing on the piano. There are like 7 people sitting on the ground listening to her like she's the messiah.
No we just stood in the kitchen and laughed for 2 hours about how funny the popcorn noise was.
Who was the girl that woke me up at 4am to tell me "there's an emergency, we need you to come smoke weed"
The car smells like weed is an understatement.
I'm getting drunk off Malibu and watching Drag Race and it's only 2 in the afternoon. I'm the poster child for sad gay men.
My dog just blew me a kiss. First of all I'm stoned and second of all he's a pitbull. Those aren't sexual dogs. So wtf.
Randomize
