I cant believe you went over there and fucked her last night after everything you said
she invited me over to play the wii, it's not like i intended to
You KNEW her power was out...
guy picked up a cops taser, thing shot him in the neck, he went down and pissed himself, cop started laughing and hasnt called an ambulance.
You know, I really only think drinking is a problem if you're not good at it.
do you have any idea how expensive it is to have the munchies at Disneyland?
So I cleaned the toilet last night at 2 am and woke up with pink eye. Never doing that again.
As a matter of fact you told me i fulfilled your "woodshop teacher fantasy"
What's a good pandora station to masturbate to?
If he can forgive your lousy blowjobs, you can ignore his terrible driving.
He just kept mumbling that he was too drunk for society and then he peed in a bush
Yo, how much weed can I get for a caf swipe?
I feel awkward giving career advice while naked
My liver is fucking rocky. Get knocked down 7 times and gets up 8. World champ
Well, my mom found the ball gag and whip. Looks like I'm never going home again.
Yo did you say we are blacking out saturday night and playing dodgeball?
Yeah for relay for life. Its for cancer
I feel like he doesn't realize we're offering him a threeway with sisters and I don't understand how that's possible.
Maybe we should bring mom next time.
Randomize
