I'm calling you out on twitter if you don't come over right now.
I'm skeptical of all drag queens.
I don't llike drinking between sober and blackout. Its boring.
he said he wanted to butter my pancake. i thought it was sexual, but he went downstairs and made pancakes. i need to stop dating fat guys.
I woke up in his bed wearing nothing but my underwear and it was on backwards and my entire body is too sore to move...
Im glad someone is finally more of a drunken slut than I am.
Or they can chase TEQUILA shots with it. I don't know why my phone capitalizes TEQUILA.
I am seriously considering thanking Macallan 18 in my thesis acknowledgments.
I feel bad for the cleaning lady. All you can smell is latex and Jaegermeister
I haven't been that free with the boobs since I was 19. I'm putting them away for a while.
If you insist
The one guy literally flopped my boob out. Yes I insist.
I dapped up a cop while leaving the party
You get 5 min
Your time limits don't scare me, I'll include foreplay and redressing in that 5 min. If you wanted to challenge me you should say you got an hour, id be scared then and more creative.
the girl whose rug I peed on is here
I don't want to go back to the suburbs. Being drunk in public isn't ok and theres too many children. Don't make me.
I don't trust my subconscious. It sleeps with my exboyfriend sometimes.
so i may or may not have just had sex on the stage of the lecture hall....
Randomize
