nut hugger
Omg I just drooled on the screen of my phone from smiling with my mouth open while textin bahahahaahah
Matt just took me to visit my puke stain from 2 weeks ago at the train station...I'm fucking impressive
she told me if people cross their eyes and look at her, they say she looks like megan fox
I feel bad for the next person that's gonna live in my room. There's so much semen on the carpet
She had the hiccups when she was giving me head. It was actually pretty awesome
I got the number from the girl at uhaul even after she saw me throw up all over the parking lot with a 6 pack in my hands.
wanna tell me why theres a glass of water stuffed with tamptons in the freezer?
I approve. Last time I was there, I left E's room to get a drink of water. Found M sitting on the kitchen counter in his boxers hammered and eating a banana. He proceeded to feed me the rest of his banana then went to bed with the lights on. You two will be great.
Stormed out of the house in frustration and now I'm in public and have to take a rage dump. Today sucks.
Also I'm proud of us for having an educational conversation in this group text.
Ok thats great. so just to recap: you fucked a billionare in his penthouse last night, and I had a glass of wine on the toilet.
Girl... I just woke up with a bloody mary in a to go cup on my nightstand and two hours late for work.. I'm sorry i can't go out on weekdays anymore. Luckily my boss was just happy i was ok
because he's a firefighter, wouldn't sleeping with him be like saying thank you to the community?
I want to get drunk and watch somebody else's tragedy.
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