Calvin and Hobbes are double-teaming a butterfly. They're in the bathroom, and drawing a crowd.
Just gave my little brother the collection of clothes that boys have left in my room since I've been in college for his birthday.
My teachers should feel privileged to see me this morning, after the amount of alcohol I consumed last night.
apparently the dude across the street has been dead for like a month. now I feel bad about pissing on his lawn
there was naked duck duck goose
how does that even get suggested?!
after naked leap frog.... it wasn't that big of a deal
Two portable blenders. We are going to be popular and dangerous.
dude chill. we stole 18 hamburgers from her house
no. you cant fuck a burger.
A 40 year old man just put his hands on my thighs and said in these exact words "you're so beautiful and gorgeous and innocent. But life sucks and you'll probably turn into a whore."
Has anyone ever told you you're majestic like a sea turtle when you fuck?
And your cock privileges have been revoked.
mate, my mother watched me threw up out of my nose wearing only a g-string.
Are u guys proud? I puked my brains out last night at a strip club. While my two fave strippèrs held my hair
My boss just lit a candle and said a prayer to get laid tonight ..
How do you politely tell someone to get out of your house in Russian
i found you laying on the floor staring at the ceiling and you kept muttering "why" in various inflections.
I like your optimism Chelsea but I'm not about getting my salad tossed
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