I don't understand why some guys want to have a huge conversation while standing at the urinal with cock in hand...
i just saw some one pass a baby through the drive-thru window at dairy queen.
She's yelling about threesomes and realllly wants you to come over. Put the pieces together.
My wedding band has saved me from at least four cases of herpes tonight.
Mission get my tooth back and find a new dick to ride starts after i sleep for the first time in 2 days.
You never know, some chick could have a weird unibrow fetish.
Though I feel a moral obligation to take you there, point out all of the male supervisors and slap you on the wrist and yell, "NO!!"
You threw up in a empty pizza box at Pizza Hut and opened the door with your face. So that maybe why it's bruised.
at one point, i told him to buy you a pumpkin spice latte and uggs because you're a common white girl and that's how he should get you in bed
I'm dedicating this beer to drunk texting
Pretty sure this ice cream truck is following me.
We'd like to invite you to our threesome! Lingerie is encouraged and drinks will be provided. Next Friday, roommate night, my bedroom. Hope to see you there!
It started getting weird when you decided to scold my vagina.
She told us she had powers and that eating tree bark cures the shits.
got laid for being an eagle scout again. 4 more and ill have all my merit badges.
Randomize
