how do you spell 'special'? like slow?
S P E L L C H E C K
No you dumbass thats not right
I am not a stalker...i just bring a whole new meaning to the word love
she took her bra off and it was like the puppet strings had been dropped. her tits totally deflated.
Everytime I am with a guy I hope his penis is as big as yours. It never is. Thanks for setting that bar.
Tonight when I'm getting a bj from a stripper I'm gonna imagine it's you bobbing down there
and that my friend is why you dont go in for an eye exam and drop 250 dollars on a pair of glasses after smoking a blunt
So never has there been a greater Valentine's Day gift than you actually putting a new roll of toilet paper on for me after using the old roll up! You didn't even use the new roll. You clearly put that on from a gentleman's standpoint vs. a selfish standpoint. I love you!!!!
Someone I just met told me they were going to name their kid after me. Daylight savings is weird.
First thing that comes on in the morning is kanye's I can't hold my liquor. yeezus lives.
I guess that means I was blowing a nerd last week.
And loving it.
as much as I don't like snorting drugs, I would totally be fine with someone doing a line off my ass. that's just a whole new up
I swear to God if you fuck my cousin I will fuck your dad.
..and by hang out i don't mean fucking then going back home i mean let's get something to eat & watch a movie and fuck sometime in between.
Ya i'm marrying the man who can hear/smell this level of flatulence and stick around
Is it too much to ask to have a life partner who has both male and female sex organs that looks cute and sounds like a female Antonio Banderas and likes to get weird?
Randomize
