That was rough. We had a 50% puke rate and 100% still drunk rate at lunch
You're the end to all my bad dreams.
Did you have that reoccuring dream about me banging your mom again?
I literally had to tap out of the blow job. It was like a pornographic wrestling match
Just got a event reminder on my phone to never party with you again.
Used a cardboard box as a pillow and a towel as a blanket. Its like the great depression over here
you know it's gonna be a good 4/20 when you start saving up for it in january.
We now know how the night ended in arrest according to the flip camera I did 10 handle pulls and beer bonged a 40. My life choices are getting worse and worse this is your fault.
She called my landing strip a "vagina mohawk"....
Lesbians are weird.
Probably not well advised, but you're welcome to stop by if your not ready to end your night. You know, for Thanksgiving's sake.
It was fine until they started lighting shots of everclear on fire and making ME take them. That's when shit went down...
don't act like you've never hung your towel on your dick after getting out of the shower
Can you rollerblade?
No, why?
Honestly, I was high and picturing us roller blading together. I wanted to see if I could make my dreams a reality.
If I die tonight, I want you to have the rest of my nachos. And my porn collection.
I hooked up with a guy dressed up as morning wood. Needless to say he lived up to his costume.
Today some guy at work told me I had the nicest hair he's ever seen and my response was "thanks I grew it myself". This is why I'm single.
Randomize
