I just wanted to let you know that if you dont tell me to stop texting i will still keep on trying, you matter to me
restraining order is on its way, crazy bitch
He yelled IN THE FACE!! while cumming on my face.
We just passed a billboard that said to join "jerseydoesntstink.com" and literally 15 seconds later, we could smell jersey.
You just kept yelling, "THAT'S THE POWER OF PINESOL, BABY!"
Seriously, I'm ready to settle for ugly and unemployed as long as he has decent hygene and likes to go down.
my boss just accepted "because it's 4/20" as a legitimate reason to take Friday off
this case of pbr just wont end. i keep finding more.
Operation terrify all men while simultaneously make them fall in love with me is going quite swimmingly so far
That was the night I realized I need to grow up and stop eating mushrooms with strange 40 year old men in convertibles.
I learned so much in Pittsburgh
Bro. I traded my coat. I have a Raiders coat now.
My roommate just yelled at me for coughing. I'd like to yell at her for doing lines off our counter last night.
Sometimes i wish my vagina automatically turned itself off when i'm legally drunk.
Smoking weed with a blind guy, don't worry he's chill.
Your slutty phase was the highlight of my year.
I mean, I'm not hammered, but I definitely can't show my face or tits in that bowling alley again
Randomize
