In all seriousness though I just found out the dog pissed in my bed it'd be nice to crash somewhere other than my couch while my piss soaked bedding is in the washer
Smith looks like a guy that goes on a lot of first dates
I'm buying a pregnancy test with my lunch money. Classy.
Covered in glitter and dick. 2010 feels a lot like 2009.
two words: eviction party
doing a bong hit while wearing crest white strips...not such a great idea...
Apparently i was peeing on things and marking my territory. I broke their light socket too. Needless to say im banned from their apartment.
I'm still seeing blue. who wrote on my bare nipple?
I feel like i could break down a fucking wall with this boner
Soooo, coming over soon?
There's that certain point at night when you start saying things like s'mores should be used in foreign relations. I reached it.
My vagina: 1 Male stubborness: 0
Let us rub each other in fish scales and become mermaids
I dont know if hes kidding... but hes drunk and said hes going to shave his balls. Alert your emt friends
Caitlin, you were laying in your bed feeding your dog ritz chips and singing a whole new world at 4am loud enough your neighbors came over an asked you to stop.
I love my life
I think I left my bra and my crocs in your room
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