Well apparently he's into motor boating.
Apparently I signed "I love you" on my bar tab last night.
this study room smells like vodka
the study room thinks the same about you
Drunkkker than when I told the drag queen she was prettier than me
I feel like I took a shit on my life and you're rubbing my nose in it.
It's just weird. It's like Big Bird dating Meg Griffin.
I make one hell of a fire on Ambien. Other life choices not so much. But fire. Fire I can do.
I didn't even realize I grinded on a security guard last night. Shit. Did he at least like it?
Yes. That was the exact moment of my conscience clicking into instant high alert.
And he came by and picked me up. We cuddled in his car then had sex until... an officer doing his rounds put a spotlight on crazy haired, naked me straddling him.
Like he was inside me when I made eye contact with a police man.
Have you considered sword swallowing? Something about that bj tells me you could make a it a career.
So high, just applauded for a magic trick on Hulu.
Fuck you and your fucking taquito's.
I know where his drugs are but not my pants
My purse is full of condoms and money.
I like where this is going...
Randomize