Dipping chips in queso and thinking of your beautiful face
So tell me more about the cum that came out of your nose
That taco smell coming from your belly button was a huge turnoff
my feelings for you are synonymous with those of a grizzly bear and salmon. i don't want to nom on you; but i need you to survive
so apparently the car got towed with me passed out in the back seat.
advice for life: when the cop takes your tallboy, don't ask for your coozy back
I got a lap dance from a guy last night dressed as a school girl. Heels and all. His heels got stuck in my fish nets
She apologized again the next day. I said it was pee under the bridge
And I'm bringing my coffee cup of wine.
I mean I'm sad it didn't work out but tbh he he can't unlick my booty hole or unbreak his headboard... He won't forget my name ever
We have a shopping cart in our front lawn. Also Mickey D's breakfast?
I am the oldest one here and I STILL feel like I need an adult. help.
The best part of being a lesbian? If I'm late for work at a hookup's place I can use her make up and peace out. Well and all the sex of course.
Now that I'm sober I feel the need to tell you that I'm not really a fish whisperer....
I feel asleep with my contacts in, with my arms wrapped around a bottle of vodka. Also... Do we have class today?
Randomize
