I just saw how many times I called you last night. You're welcome.
the line for where the wild things are looks like radiohead had sex with an urban outfitters
Would it be too much if i wore depends to new moon so i dont miss any of it?
Just got walked in on during safety inspections
Think you passed?
I SWALLOWED her nuva ring. Please tell me how your night could have been worse.
The bartender gave me the kids toys. Paddle ball & a gecko.
Thanks for pulling me out of the bed by my feet atleast one of us was sober enough to know I had work at 5 am.
Any chance I can buy my dignity back with $45?
I'll pretend I don't know she's blind, my morals claimed the back seat in this adventure.
Come to this bar
But I'm full of food.
MAKE ME FULL OF YOUR DICK
Would I be a horrible mom if I got a babysitter at 6am so I could go get laid.
You tried crawling through the apartment window instead of going through the wide open door next to it
Is she blowing you? I'm in the closet.
I love you. Doing a double. Going to die. It will be painful. Let the world know i partied. God, did i party.
Fuck your bullshit loser kid and his gluten allergy.
Randomize
