I left when they started reinacting what appeared to be a jerry springer episode
Would we rather be in rehab with the drug addicts or the girls with low self esteem?
He sat there and debated the pros and cons of hooking up with me
It was like being fucked by the god of thunder, he gained power from the storm. I took a Plan B because I don't think regular birth control will stop Thor's sperm.
You were naked with a chalice of Skittles vodka, singing along to Les Miserables.
It all started with sending him a text about Spongebob. It escalated from there.
I'm still waiting for God to smite you for impersonating a decent human being.
He licked the buffalo sauce off my fingers and then we had the best sex of my life.
We watched ESPN, hooked up, got waffles. You know, a typical weekend.
So help me God.... if he sends me a dick pic.... I will make it so he has to eat food through a tube in his nose and poop into a bag by his belly button
I wasn't going to drink tonight, but was reminded this is the anniversary of prohibition being repealed. If I don't, then I am against my profession of bartending and anti-American, right?
is it still the walk of shame if his dad gave me a 'thanks for sleeping with my son' head nod on my way out this morning?
It baffles me why I still wear white underwear...
Yeah come over whenever. Weed gets here at 8.
I'll be there at 7:59.
I have to start drinking water I have a drug test to fail at 1:40
Randomize
