You guys sftrill at mcdondalds?!!!!
Yes.
fuckin bring me a cheseburgeria
I need hand sanitizer and jesus.
I don't care how bad it tastes, i just put it in my mouth and deal with it
just got a hand job during a movie in class today is gonna be great!
he conducted the entire waffle house into singing the song Oklahoma. He was wasted.
hey bro how do you do that fake vagina thing with the tp roll? im bored.
As hard as i've been partying lately their gonna have to revoke my organ donor status
I'm almost too hungover to function. Got into the wrong car by mistake. there was a rotweiler in it. Thank god he was more confused than i was for a minute.
HELP! I GOT DRUNK IN THE LIVING ROOM AND CANT GET UP UPSTAIRS
You kicked me our in the middle of a blizzard with a dead phone. I had to give my watch to a pizza delivery person to take me home. You owe me a gyro too.
i put frozen meatballs in my drink thinking they were ice cubes and I'm vegetarian wtf
So yeah, my old kindergarten teacher just asked me who gave me the hickies on me neck.
MAGGIE IS ON MY COUCH PETTING AN HONEST TO CHRIST ARMADILLO AND SOBBING INTO HOT CHOCHOLATE. WHAT THE FUCK DID YOU DO TO HER.
I woke up under a house in Key West
dude. that's the chick that BIT MY DICK. it doesn't matter how hot you think she is, trust me man.
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