we dont do blackfin have a good night :)
Sorry, I don't speak sober.
i was on the fence about his sexual orientation until he referred to his marlboro loghts as "carrie bradshaws"
The fact that when I blacked in you were sober enough to kick me out of your roommates bed makes me question our friendship.
I'm posted up in the bathroom at au bon pain, high as balls, experimenting with eyeshadow combinations and listening to 90s jlo. The girl in the stall next to me just plopped a big one and I laughed, hope I ruined her day
Well sorry I accidentally spooned your mom and possibly threw up on you
We had a weird moment. Mid-sex he started talking. It went along the lines of "I. FUCKING. LOVE.....this condom..."
WHY IN THE FUCK DID YOU LET ME DRUNK PUNCH STEVE? HE IS SUCH A NICE GUY!
In times of desperation, never...NEVER put green apple scented hand sanitizer on your vagina.
And he came all over himself. At least he didn't ruin my new lulus.
Actually though that could've been bad.
Dressing as mugato from zoolander Halloween you may want to be the hand model. We can get you a fish bowl filled with Clementine Vodka and soda you can put your hand in.
if you guys find pieces of my teeth don't throw them out please
"my nose is broken but I'm beer pong champ so it evens out really"
Learn from my mistakes, you naive soul: Gay love triangles are just as dangerous as straight love triangles.
If anything I look like a soccor mom going out for her annual ladies night. Trying hard, but not quite in her twenty's anymore.
Randomize