How's tricks little girl?
Trix are for kids, old man.
All I know is it had something to do with a plunger and tuna salad. I'm done. I'm quitting my job.
just chased whiskey with a pickle. i definitely recommend it
Changed my mind. Wearing a dress. Casual, with a side of breasts.
admittedly, it's a little weird getting relationship advice from the mother of a former one night stand. but she's a wise lady and she buys me drinks, so i'm ok with it.
My parents heard us going at it in their tent. I told my mom it must have been a bear looking for food. I don't think she bought it. She deliberately chose this park because bears haven't been sighted here in years.
Growing a beard is gonna make smoking a pipe look so much more majestic
In all honesty the person most likely to secretly slip me drugs would be ... Me
It's been two dates and she just invited me to her aunts funeral. I can't even. Who the fuck does that? I need to drink I'm coming to get you in 5
Seriously I am not buying you condoms anymore. You're 22, if you aren't woman enough to buy them yourself then you don't deserve orgasms. Grow some tits.
I'm spending tomorrow doing taxes and making jello shots. Is this adulthood?
You know it was one hell of a night when you need to use your own thong to wipe cum off your face.
I didn't rip your fishnets, WE ripped your fishnets.
Pray for me.. I'm like the lonely vagina in a sea of sworming dicks
I showered three hours ago and yet feel the need for another one already. This is my day.
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