never have i ever had a craving for dick this badly
She turned over and said "You smell like my dad, i just can't do this"
She said she didn't want to have sex because she was so torn up about "this whole NBC thing."
How can I look at her with a straight face when she has dry puke on her eye lid
Yeah he gave the rest of the brownies to the bouncer that took his fake
Drunk walkin through police station. America
God forbid we drive unregistered mopeds without license plates on a pedestrians only sidewalk without goggles while flipping off passing cars.
You fell out of your barstool, I tried to help you but you said if I got any closer I'd be drinking my meals through a straw, So there you sat.
It's called "lets see how many European capitals we can do the walk of shame through in one year"
Obviously you've never slept with someone who was deliverance level inbred.
Drunkenly making hamburger helper. I just whispered "I can't wait to have you in my mouth."
You caught me at a bad time. I'm stoned enough that I'm ready to sleep but also not stoned enough that I wanna smoke again but also stoned enough to not wanna drive anywhere
I wasn't going to just ask my parents for a damn vibrator for christmas
No I kepy moaning and just called out a name to make them believe I was actually having sex instead of masturbating.
Must be why he thought choking was foreplay. Like WTF? No.
Randomize