i can't wait to go to hell
yeah...all of my friends will be there for sure
dude I went to cubs game with my mustache, aviators, and a hooded sweatshirt. Do you think it was irony or fate that there were four 17 year old girls in front of us?
So I went into my gym pretty wasted and asked the trainer guy if i could order a cock meat sandwich. Needless to say, I'm canceling my membership tomorrow.
I spent a large portion of the night trying unsuccessfully to keep hayley (who was wearing a dress and no underwear) from doing handstands, but yea it was fun. the boys had fun
I have a very awkward question for you. Could you possibly take my black dildo. My mom wants to clean my room.
Two girls down stairs, two girls up stairs and....
We've got ourselves a situation
Found my little brother jerking off with a condom. he said he was "practicing"
OMG its one we used last night
It took him longer to remove his skinny jeans than it did for him to finish. I didn't even have time to realize it sucked until it was already over.
dont call me baby and dont touch my ears. ITS ALL I ASK
She looked up at the menu and yelled this is my absolute favorite literacy
Guys always stop talking to me right around the point that if they bought me food a couple times I would probably have sex with them.
I'm at a first year old's birthday party and a midget dressed as a cop just showed up. Word is we're going to toss and bowl with him. Updates to come.
Hard not to be concerned when you call me, tell me you've discovered the secret to flying, vomit, then hang up the phone. So yes, I'm coming to pick you up.
Either im seeing the northern lightgs, someone is having a rave, or im on acid.. Im most likely on acid
You laid on the floor and pet their rug. and then demanded Voss water.
Randomize
