Racial profiling caused me to miss two cabs but the third cabs the charm - he's playing Jesus Music
we need to drink 2009 down the drain
u think ur still drunk from last night? i just put the eggs in the freezer and the remote in the sink. I don't wanna fucking hear it.
We've done the math and the dogs tails are wagging at a rate of 3000 wags per hour. Stoned.
noooo, I woke up on his pack porch and the SUN WAS RISING. I saw red lights everywhere and heard sirens so I just ran for my life.
I have glow sticks stuck to my boobs and a missed call from the 911. I'd say last night was a success.
If people don't want my drunken phone call then TAKE YOUR FUCKING NUMER OFF OF FACEBOOK, like it's just that easy...
should i go to class, or party with a mariachi band?
meriachi band is very tempting, do they have dos equis?
Is it going to be one of those nights where I shouldn't wear my contacts so everyone looks more attractive?
Well I think it's fate. Considering march is my fave month because it's my birthday and st. Patrick's day. And his name is Patrick. I'm sleeping with him all through march. No question.
She came to class yesterday wearing a shirt saying Maybe Partying Will Help. Showed up to class today and puked three times.
Welcome to drunk texts. Live from Margaritaville, it's Saturday night!!!
Your roommates will be treating you to many anecdotes about my intentions to have aggressive sex with you. I'm sorry in advance.
I have no regard for my liver, you should know this.
scotch tastings during the week is a baaad idea. i woke up w no pants but wearing my winter coat
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