I just spent an hour correcting all the grammar and spelling of all the 2pac songs on my ipod
at a bonfire and someone threw a plastic cup in the fire. everyone immediately stopped what they were doing to yell collectively at him about what he was doing to the environment, then went back to drinking
only in oregon
slowly transforming into a stationary lump of steel. how can you tell me that was JUST weed
My night sucks. It's really hard to masturbate with a broken finger.
I've decided I'm either going to ease him into this breakup by having a threesome with him and the girl I'm leaving him for, or be brutal and fuck his room mate. it depends how nice he is tonight.
He completely dissapeared at the baseball game. We found him passed out at the hotel three hours later with souviner photos of himself at the top of the Sears Tower.
Tim john just told us the story about him losing his virginity at 14 during church on the emergency exit staircase. This is day drinking?
Update. He just picked me up and tried to demonstrate
He chipped a tooth on the first beer. You know the night is just going to be a slushy mess after that.
I just took the cheapest shot in your honor
My house smells like bleach. Also, I do not feel bad about all the stuff I stole from the hospital while I was there.
Got my parents to pick me up from the party, take me to the bar and buy all my drinks, then drop me off at my booty calls house.
Sorry about waking up naked in your bed this morning.
Woke up this morning with Nerf Bullets stuck to everything in my house and nut in my belly button. What exactly happened last night?
Well its all fun and games until you get naked with your ex in the shower. that's NOT flirting
you can't get cum all over my hair and then tell me you just want to be friends
Randomize