32 messages asking me to suck his dick. And there for a minute i thought i was desperate. ha!
Hahahaha
make that 40.
dude, that chick is coming to see me and stay for 2 nights. I'm hitting the 3rd in the trifecta of friends.
You're one hell of a depraved bastard dude, I'm borderline speechless. You officially win.
They all have matching tattoos so they're all official bffs. I love my life.
girl in front of me in lecture is looking up on ask.com about chlamydia.
theyre selling pepper spray in the courtyard. hellooo atl
Apparently I joined a band last night. Definitely my favorite blackout.
I've slowly been stuffing french fries down his pants. I'm at 31 and he hasn't even noticed.
I'll wind up on his doorstep with a confused "oh you live here" expression, a feigned ankle injury and a seemingly fortunately placed bottle of tequila. I don't care what it takes: HIS MOUTH WILL BE ON MOUTH.
Why is there a frozen condom filled with water in my freezer?
Well I could just do a roadtrip and hit them all. Slut tour 2012.
Come on, what straight woman, gay man, or bi person HASN'T scrolled through Justin Trudeau pictures after a bad day?
Dude there's ten thousand dollars worth of damage to the kids house and three thousand in stolen property and his dog is missing he is pissed
If I give him back his dog do you think he'll invite me to the next party
i'm not too sure if he's up to my expectations looks-wise, but in the penis department he exceeds ALL regulations.
dude I fucking saw you snort tequila
You're swimming in an imaginary pool of pudding. What do you think?
You turned down sex for fried cheese??
My penis and doctor won't be happy with me, but come on. Fried cheese!
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