you turned on the Care Bears movie at 5am and kept screaming "I CARE"
Girl in my class with fire painted on her face. I. need. that. weed.
all they had in the fridge was rum and filled water balloons
i think i pulled off the nice guy thing too well. it just backfired later on when she thought i was actually nice.
she used her one phone call to ask me about my day
There are 27 signatures on my ass. What the hell happened last night?
Every time someone made a cup you congratulated them by letting them sign your ass.
We'll find out our level of friendship after tonight. You'll be helping me move a body. My body.
You screamed "I NEED TO GET THE WHOLE SET!" and then proceeded to try touching everyone's balls in the room
I only see on penis in this picture but I assume there is another lurking out of sight.
Sex on the scooter in the parking lot wasn't the smartest idea. Actual quote from the cop as he handed me the ticket and fist bumped me.
it's finals week and we've been blasting country porch drinkin since 10AM. there's been like 4 tweets about hearin us on the other side of campus
Woke up on the floor with shoes on my hands...I'd say it was a success
as a self proclaimed hoe im ok with a lotta things but that is not fucking one of them
You claimed that someone else had vomited underneath you/on your hand
you were very insulted that we didn’t believe you that someone else vommed
I just woke up in a prom dress on your bathroom floor, yea I'm 32.
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