then i got kicked out of the bar for trying to pay my $30 bar tab in sacajawea dollar coins
I just heard a girl in all seriousness say, "I told him I'm not a stalker. I just really really want to talk to him."
Literally he has the smallest penis I've ever felt since 8th grade.
Let's get back to talking about you giving me a blow job.
on toilet. in drag. drinking coffee vodka. I regret nothing.
STOP CALLING ME LADY CHLAMYDIA
No mixer. Vodka in yogurt?
They won't let us do straight shots of 151 since that guy lit his face on fire.
Hahah what did you even say to him?!
That I was gonna inflate his vagina with a leaf blower?
Oh.
Well he can play the xylophone with his erect cock... So he's got that going for him
He said I kept trying to give him directions back to my house in Rhode Island, and that I started crying when he told me I live in Phoenix.
Apparently I taped knives to my hands and made everyone call me wolverine
Sorry I sent you a video of a singing reverend last night, I was really high.
I just moved my 11am hair appointment to 8am so I could blackout at noon. Who am I?
We're going to get naked and build a fort instead. HAPPY NEW YEAR!
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