I think I can smell my own vagina right now
You told my mother that her salad dressing tasted like semen.
She looks makes a Zellweger face when she cums, she's keeps asking why I call her renee
there really is only one way to give a PowerPoint presentation in your senior capstone class: still drunk.
he was wearing a tuxedo, i was naked...it's a long story.
I tried really hard to get you laid last night. And by that I mean I asked a bunch of dudes if they were top or bottom.
If I am going to throw out this whole "born again virgin" thing...i'm not going to do it on someone who is less than 5 inches.
He panicked, you ducked and I was coming off a 3 day coke binge. It was no one's shining moment.
Basically, what i'm trying to say is, if you don't have something, excuse or gift, to satisfy my anger i am going to look you in the eye and piss on the floor.
He had a tramp stamp of his own phone number. You can't tell me that isn't smart.
Totally forgot Mike has only one ball. Is it sad I'm excited to see it? Or shall I say the lack of it?
Are you high?
The snorkel mask makes that pretty clear
By the way, do you realize that you asked me how much you could get for your eggs last night. And once you learned the price said that you had plenty to share.
I just announced to Denny's that I'm not wearing a bra.
Jus had a dream that I borrowed bob dylans car to save us from a pack of raptors. Pretty stoked about it.
Randomize
