just apologized to a random stranger while waiting in line for coffee. last night was that drunk
He is like that thing on the menu you would eat because nothing else looks remotely edible.
then she said "on the count of three I think we should apologize to eachother"
so i wake up and the chick who i had sex last night left her phone number. next to the number was a broken condom. should i call?
im pretty sure all they do is fuck. and talk in baby talk. its two babys fucking basically.
being alone eating nachos and drinking from a giant munchen beermug really isnt that sad
and you think what you did last night was bad? at least you didnt go wake up a sleeping guy for birthday sex.
I know you're trying to keep the moaning to a minimum but the banging on the wall is totally giving you away
Hahahahahahhajahahahahajajjajahjahahajahahajajahahahajjajajahahjajajajajahahahajjjajajaahhahhahahahahahahahaha dominos taxi
So I was thinking for Halloween I'd do Dr. Jekyll and Mr. Hyde....for my vagina.
Isn't it my whole life blown into this perfect spoon shaped piece of melted and artificially colored sand?
Wow.
Last night was so embarrassing. I got like almost blackout drunk and threw up in my hand and then blamed it on someone else.
please tell me you're the one making all the weird noise in the yard..
You can say goodbye to our security deposit.
Already? What he do?
Opened a bag of topsoil at the party and spread it all over the living room. TOPSOIL!
Currently watching high school football on ESPN. Drink every time they say 'this kid's got potential' or 'look at this kid go' or 'atta kid' We're done for..
Randomize
