I think i peed on brittanys purse
I feel like abortions should bother me more
Jon and Kate. Drink everytime we see tears. Drink twice if a child cries. Finish your bev if you cry.
i just used google streetview to figure out where i spent the night last night
I think he just gave me the 'I used to fuck your sister' discount
i feel like i got punched in the cervix. he's a little different in bed than i thought he would be..
She had YOLO tattooed on her ass. Like, one cheek said YO, the other said LO. Even I can't handle that level of hot mess.
We were coming but I found wine on my way out the door.
Why can't they just let me be the gorgeous cum dumpster that I know I'm meant to be?
Honestly after an incomprehensible political rant yoga seems like the best option at 2 am
I'm gonna go parent style on your ass... I don't ask much from you but if you could please just come get shitfaced with me I would really appreciate it
She acted like falling "up" the stairs was a fucking physics phenomenon. I call that Tuesday nights.
i feel like every weekend turns into a giant blur of i dont want to know...
Ps can u get with my cousin? He's a freshman at uconn and he's very attractive but like were related....
He woke me with blue berry pancakes and a blow job. He's a keeper.
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