just gave a homeless man a kiss in exchange for two handles
exact location. now.
all her text said was "asdfhdaufhudshfuds" and i knew that meant come over
I came home to burning cookies and him outside "tanning" naked.
He just wants an even tan
lesson learned: don't narrate out loud about how a girl is giving you head while she's doing it
If him repeating sorry while thrusting isn't makeup sex than I don't know what else is
I think there was chlamydia in those woods.
We should tie ourselves together anytime there is any type of alcohol involved. It's the safest way. I either end up with freshmen or weird ex bfs. You end up with a large cowboy. This is not good for us
he peed on his own floor last night after we left the bar. pretty much sums up how i feel about the evening
I just got St Patricks day and the day after St Patricks day off, wich I'm pretty sure is as close to a raise as I'll ever get.
Do you always skip to "Baby Got Back" when fat girls show up at the bar?
This is not my bathroom and these are not my pants
Sensing a theme here
If alcoholism is a theme, yes.
Well I'm half drunk in a green tutu at a chipotle. So pretty good parade.
You walked around in your costume going up to every guy saying "I'm a squirrel, give me your nuts"
I just met his mom for the first time with a hang over. Then we went to watch his 8 year old cousin get baptized. Apparently his family loves me. I should drink more often.
Randomize
