Different chick, same blowjob, same parking lot.
I was going through my mom's high school yearbook...almost half the people who signed it referred to her as "Karen Smokejoints", "Confused Karen", or drew a picture of a joint. I have never felt more like her daughter.
They sext over her pic comments. Role playing as wolves.
I woke up to find that chris drank one of my contacts.
Yeah he's good at that.
Thanks i'm proud of you and I'm proud of beer and vodka for making me drunk
how many lesbians have to have their hearts broken before they realise I am not that kind of DJ
Three Architectural classes: $990.00 Architectural supplies: $300.00 Changing majors and using my architectural supplies to roll blunts: Priceless
I sent him this really overly apologetic text asking him out. It was just sad. Not even 27 shots of whiskey can grow me a self-esteem.
He wanted to watch the vow, cuddle, and not have sex. An upgrade is in order.
One day soon I'll learn the difference between a good high and way too high. Today is not the day.
Most of my life can be described like an HBO prison drama.
I wonder whether Megan will forgive me if i have phone sex in her attic
I think we have some hyper-understanding of each other when drunk, because looking back at our text convo from last night, they were literally just jumbled letters.
i asked your drunk ass where the fuck you were going and you screamed “WENDY’S BITCH”.
On cleanup... i've counted 94 solo cups so far.. oh, and i found a miniature top hat in the microwave
Randomize