Tell me I did not drive one hour for whiskey dick.
Prostitute standing on the corner thrusting at cars as they drive by. New marketing strategy?
I had a wet dream about my mom last night. words can't even begin to discribe how scarred I am. what. the. fuck.
Her vagina smelled like chicken
why do you say that
chicken smells like everything
Girl next to me just ralphed in a bag. Congrats class of 2010
i caught him jerking off, doing his SAT Prep. forever alone.
I ended up with a bullet proof vest and I still don't know his last name.
Fuck you. You would only tell me how to get to your house in Spanish.
We both bought three foot bongs...going to race to see who can smoke a mile first.
Nothing better than going to Mass on Easter Sunday with "I love penis" henna tattooed across your back. Love your Indian culture.
She said pants are for pussies while spooning peanut butter onto her frosted flakes with a serving spoon. She's not even high yet.
The spirit of America is being too hungover to celebrate America right?
You made out with both twins? Ten points to you!
I only get hit on by people going through their midlife crisis. Yes, I did purposely write that gender neutral.
Yeah well, last time I said I wasn't having a big night I was being strangled in somebody's spare bed
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