You were right, I'm so drunk and I want to eat the shit out of my vanilla cupcake candle it smells delish
Experience is the best teacher
How wet are you?
Ever heard of a U-boat?
speaking of unleashing monsters, we need to get condoms
You can tell alot about a person by their poo.. For example, he was a smoker.
The man at the Honda dealership told me I smell like vodka and probably shouldn't be driving.
I didn't know people actually cried after sex.
do you know how hard it is to pee with a pumpkin in the toilet ?
bad night - i tried for naughty librarian but could only manage to pull off pissed off barrista.
His reasoning for leaving the keys in the ignition of my car overnight with the top down in an open parking lot ? Too eager to have sex. The sex was not that good for him to do this twice....
Remember that mom/daughter stripper team? Well i just met the ex husband/father in AA. WOW!!!! WOW....
WHY WONT HOT GETMAN MAKR PUPR WITH ME!!!!???!?!!
If you're signed up as "sober sister" can you do cocaine or nah
I mean, it's a romantic picture of pubes if I've ever seen one
I woke up spooning with two strangers on Saturday morning... I felt like a sexual sandwich
It's not christmas until we're acting sober in front of grandma
Randomize
