hey my socially awkward cousin is our designated driver for summer, we just have to put up with her wierd shit.
I was just about to go down on her when she gave herself a "smell check" and said "no, not today".
this whole healthcare thing got me thinking.. without knowing it my parents are now going to be paying for my dealer to be able to live..
I mean, there was frosting being put on a tunafish sandwich. Pretty sure she knew we were high.
asked the cab driver where he learned Swahili last night.
Actually some of the best sex I've had involved a lot of laughing.
How small IS your cock?
So your best guy friend eats your pussy once and a while, no big deal. It's like going to jiffy lube once and a while to let the professionals do it. Your husband should understand .
And now I'm drinking leftover wine in the grad lounge because fuck my life
I have a taco in my pocket for later because I am a practical drunk
At some point he mentioned fried rice and take out... I don't think we know how sexting works
I think one of your friend's offered my friend chicken tenders back at his place...just FYI he should probably come up w/ another line
Idk maybe I'll talk to him once he gets out of jail just to yell at him and get my strawberry ice cream back.
We could probably bang our way to enlightenment. However acid helps.
You ran up a $300 bar bill on his card and he didn't have you arrested, be grateful and move on.
It’s amazing such a big dick belongs to such a boring guy
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