Did you see 7 ppl got hurt at Talladaga?
Did they get their mullets stuck in an engine?
At my boss' house at a bbq. Had a few beers. Taking a poop - there's no TP...this is my nightmare.
I wish you were here to vomit in your hand.
i never thought it was possible to fit gay, redneck and asian into the same sentence before i met you.
and this wasn't even the first one i'd hooked up with
FUCK YOU CALIFORNIA. YOU DO NOTHING RIGHT. FIRST PROP 8 AND NOW THIS.
It probably isn't a good idea to go home with last night's hookup's brother. And sister.
Probably is probably an understatement.
She's "threw gas on the fire to put it out" drunk. Come retrieve ur gf. Ps she smells like burnt hair
he said he wished i had balls so he could kick me in them. then we had sex obviously
The trashcan full of everclear punch caught on fire...you should probably come home now.
Whenever I think to myself, "I don't work for a bunch of hours"... It's shot time?
The only thing I remember last night was feeding my dog 4 McDoubles.
your life is going to be an empowering working mom montage tomorrow to Katy P's ROAR... --are you living in a yoplaít comercial?
I just want you to know that watching you throw up out of a cab in the McDonald's drive thru was probably the highlight of my night.
I love that they love me even though I might not exsist, its kinda like Im God.
I just put together something from IKEA so that’s mandatory oral for a week.
Randomize
