i am sick of getting naked and seeing how fat i am.
.....so he has a son. Josh. That is not his roommate
I swear, you have an app for that. "Attention: your boyfriend is pooping. Place call?"
There are two people having sex in one of the showers right now trying to silence their orgasm sounds and failing. Thank you coed bathrooms.
I mean I'm forever immortalized as the one who puked in his dad's straw hat.
You screamed at all of us and then showed us your sack. You're like the boyfriend of my dreams.
When you accidentally type "I want Prince William to fuck me in the ass" to your mom there's really no way to take that back.
That bitch ruined vodka saturday
It's like rock paper scissors. Cold showers and smoking beat hangovers.
He shattered his pelvis base jumping so his dicks out of commission for 4 months. Your up, second string.
THE VODKA TRAIN IS NOW PULLING INTO THE STATION
I've made a single handle of rum last like three weeks and my mom hasn't even acknowledged it.
We watched playoff games and fucked so we could both see the TV. I've now found true love.
I'm eating shredded cheese and chugging coke, until I can function again. I'm tingling everywhere
I covered the puke with a shingle there's not many chunks. I think it will blend quickly.
Randomize
