I just put out an orange level terrorist threat on her punani
let me put it this way. im never saying "join in or get out" again unless i know whos in the room.
I opened a jar of Ragu so I could use it as a cup. You tell me how it's going.
You've eaten a Lean Pocket for every meal for at LEAST 3 days now. Get your life in line.
you missed kickoff and the first round of bodyshots. I suggest you get here now.
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i loe djcudia fjxos rue.
I'm slightly possesive over the gucamole when i'm stoned.
Is that why you left peanut shells in my bed?
my revenge plans when i'm high are never as good as i think they are
you had acid sex with the barista. why is my bucket list your tuesday?
I thought monday through wednesday was a YOLO free zone.
he gifted me a vibrator as he was breaking up with me. you tell me how my night went
I probably should have waited until after the game to pity fuck him. You know, seeing as we lost.
If you come home and I'm pantsless with cake smeared all over my face, I'm sorry.
My hookup from last weekend apparently got arrested today... his roommate just tagged me on facebook asking for bail money.
There's a big difference between a penis and a toilet.
Bud light made chelada as a breakfast for those of us with class at 8 am
Randomize
