I don't plan to be alive for 2010 so ima say this 12 hours early. Happy New Year bitches
girl in the front row yawned. double jointed jaw. i know where i'll be sitting next class
and ill be dreaming of you. not in a creepy way, but in an inappropriate way
Dear vodka that I hid in a water bottle in the backseat of Blairs car, I'm sorry that she gave you away to a man on side of the road with an over heated engine. I'm sure the car doesn't appreciate you as much as I would have.
She had a boyfriend but was all over this drunk guy that she just met..she said she loved him and then puked all over him.
i almost burnt down an apartment complex. little busy, get back to you later
Sorry I didn't text you for coffee this morning...bad life decision Saturday sorta rolled into Monday...
I'm doing somethin that's never been done before...the 10 am booty call come over
Nah, just ran around, pinned random men to walls, bit their lips of and booked it.
Ummm so I'm at the hospital and just heard some guy get tazed......twice.
You're either getting fucked or a coupon to Friendly's. I haven't decided yet.
I will 100% jerk off using my own tears as lube before I'd ever bang a 4.
We broke my graduation cords last night when we used them to tie each other up during sex last night
After I chugged my beer the cop slapped my ass and said "atta girl" this can't be real life.
I was running because his wife invited me to join them on their kinky Vegas weekend. Crossing state lines is too much commitment for me.
Randomize
