What are these yellow papers in the kitchen?
These are the tickets we got last night.
Did i sign this one as Grizzly Bear?
Yes...yes you did.
i don't know how the hand towel got involved, but i peed all over it
last day of my family cruise we all got trashed and had an award ceremony. I got the award for hooking up with a cougar. my grandma hugged me and said im living up to the legacy. this is why my familys better than yours
ill do whatever it takes for me to get more high and eat pie
...and all my boxers are outside in the snow because????
I gave him 3 xanax and recorded the ball drop. He's gonna think tonight is New Years.
Hot freshmen.....hot freshmen chicks everywhere
You say this every welcome week, bro.
The picture that pops up when I call her phone is a picture of my nipple. Just so you're forewarned.
What is your life?
A tangled mess of finals and bad decisions.
Did you know there is a guy on the porch, wrapped in your snuggie, singing no woman no cry and drinking wine coolers?
Next time I feel awkward in a situation I'm going to just yell "free bird!!!!" Like some redneck at lynyrd skynyrd show
I can't feel the bottom half of my face but i feel like our sex would be amazing
She's in labor and I'm doing shots. Whose the real winner here?
nobody put me to bed and I ended up peeing on a tree and got written up
Slept with a member of the band last night, found out today after extensive stalking he’s engaged. Pro tip: don’t research one night stands.
Randomize
