I learned to sign I want to be on you today
Score
Deaf chicks here I come
My cardio has turned into running out of the cold from bar to bar.
Stalkers don't have time for showers...it's a full time job
he came on my stomach, took his sock off, wiped it up, put his sock back on along with his shoes and left.
either i blacked out mid-sex but remember the beginning and end, or he really only lasted a couple of minutes
you know I love you but I need to see your friends tits
Found your glasses drenched in ketchup on my driveway this morning
He pissed on a police station. Then expected to not be arrested. Sounds accurate.
At 2pm we are having a MANDITORY house meeting about last night. ALL must be in attendance!
I'd like to review the planning and execution of the party to determine how we hosted a naked party, to determine how we can have more.
Black out Jordan is making huge strides. I didn't even pee on anyone or anything last night.
like i literally can feel my uterus getting frustrated at me for not being pregnant.
Also, you should've bet on Team Liver.
We won.
USA USA USA
Named all the presidents in order between puke sessions while semi conscious so that's a thing I can do now
They were supposed to legalize it when there was a chance someone might actually propose to me. I'm appealing this bullshit.
I just came rly close to telling a dude that I want to chew on him and there should be an oil painting of his ass up in the louvre before I realized that isn't how flirting is supposed to go
Randomize