when I'm not with you everything just looks like crayon scribble
That cute girl I hooked up with last night clawed my back to hell and gave me a hickey. I look like a white trash warewolf victim
Just saw 2 very young girls abandon baby buggys in the Xwalk to fight. Gotta love Holyoke.
Just fell asleep during a bikini wax. Thank god for day drinking.
Idk yet. Trying to convince him to get a phoenix bird tattoo first
Once he blows his load, he's more of an immediate flight risk than that jetBlue pilot. He's out the door before his cum is out of my vajayjay.
got one for peeing in public....called the cop a donut dunking communist...should be a fun court appearance
When did I go from having sugar daddies to being one? And does it count as a tax write off?
The engagement ring savings account is now the strippers and gin savings account. What are you doing tonight?
i actually texted him "nice to see you" but then there was a saved draft "i think about you when i get off." dodged that bullet...
And the sky opened up and god said.... "WET T-SHIRT CONTEST!!!!"
Had the best sex Thursday night then Friday night I met his girlfriend. The worst thing is we became friends like she gave me her number.
His dick is the size of my forearm. Would it be rude to ask to take a comparison photo after sex?
I never imagine I'd say this, but can I ask Jeff for the butt plugs back even though it was a gift and we broke up?
I'll give you another blowjob if you bring me some cake.
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