he was going down on me when he saw the warts...nevertheless he told me he had to pick his sister up from school. why does this keep happening to me???
it's one of those mornings where you are proud of yourself just for waking up.
well on a positive note i hear those vitamins you take while pregnant do wonders for your nails
I'm sure I'm not the FIRST newly single girl to table dance at a family restaurant.
I spiked my fruit smoothie. Taking bikini season diet to a whole new level
No she had like 2 shots and started ironing her clothes and whispering random shit in my ear
Tried to dry my shoes in the oven last night.
Well the good news is my "i'm an adult" dinner party went well, they all brought wine and complimented my cooking abilities. the bad news is i woke up with the leftovers in my bed/on my face
On a separate but also a very relevant note, can we practice drinking wine like real people?
In anticipation of No Judgement Tuesday, I believe a Can We LOL At What We Did Last Night Saturday is in order
Dude. 21 days till I'm 21. It's the 21 day countdown. The 25 days of Christmas can suck my dick.
Got drunk and tried to deep fry burritos. Turns out wild turkey isn't a good replacement for vegetable oil. Nearly burned my house down.
Sober people should be as daring as drunk people more often, because honestly the fact you’ve lived so long is a sign that anything is possible.
I'm honestly considering asking her if I can eat her out, as a friend.
it's 1:30pm and i'm eating cheese while i sext. i need hobbies
so i put my jacket on last night that you wore last weekend, and reach inside the pockets and find them full of goldfish...
the snack that smiles back:)
I'm gonna go take a shower so I can cleanly change into my drinking underwear.
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