my math professor just wrote "parallel" on the board, but spelled it "pararrel". guess what country he's from
Obama is so hot when he ends wars.
So....maintenance found the bullethole.....
She thinks she's a fairy, dude. A real fucking fairy with wings and shit.
True life. I have to get a nose job due to a deviated septum from blowing coke. Thank you college.
Just had a tranny complement my outfit. Looks like I'll have to change before we go out.
Taking shots of gin by myself out of TMNT glasses and chasing with bites of chocolate cake. AMERICA.
smoked some of that legal weed last night, felt like God himself legit bent me over his knee and spanked my ass. Never again..never.
I'm drunk at 3:28
I'm jealous as shit at 3:34
Having boobs is probably the greatest thing in the world, free booze all around
Woke up pants less in the vacant apartment across the hall. It was unlocked because they were showing it to someone. When they walked in I woke up and said "this is a great place to live" and walked out
So much Jack, so little girl.
And then he served me a piece of a brownie on his dick. It tasted amazing. Such a good night!
Damn that brownie almost kicked my ass. I'm not sure if my flight home lasted 10 minutes or 10 days..
I danced my ass off after the funeral last night. Kept dropping it low and I can feel it in my legs today. Im like shit I needa go work out
What a way to honor the dead
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