It's like she bought one bad life decision and got one free
I was on my way at Dorito Smoothie
A very small part of me wants you to appreciate me for more than just my breasts. But the rest of me is breasts.
i think that dennys waitress has my boxers
Apparently suggesting that she was the kind of girl who might be expected to kill someone's pets hurt her feelings...
When did you hit me on the head with a stool?
Told him I'd blow him in the bathroom. There was a giant window everyone was looking thru. He whipped it out n I burst out laughing n walked away. Even blackout drunk I set the bar high. You should be proud.
So I feel like I should have had a going away party for your dick. Complete with balloons and cake. Yeahh that's right. I'm gonna miss it.
Then my perve supervisor asked about your vagina. And I was like nunya, but its glorious
If thou doesn't answer thou phone thou shall receive a barrage of Dick pics. It's the eleventh commandment.
Well my parents know I get medical Cannabis they saw me on the news at the dispensary
Well, if it's rabies, your lips will swell just prior to the frothing. Get a lot of good pics!
He's got a big dick, a steady job and tells me I'm pretty. There is litterally nothing else I look for I a guy.
you tried to strip tease your way into canada but got arrested instead. don't worry, your mom doesn't know.
A total of 3 guys left my apartment this morning. That was my first clue to my black out endeavors last night. Gotta love wine Wednesdays.
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