I just want you to know that me val and amanda are drinking on top of a hill lookig at the chicago skyline drinking icehouse and we just peed in public.
It's a sad day when you have to slightly move your fupa to shave.
Just saw a squirrel crossing the road in a crosswalk..my morning has improved exponentially.
So there's dick imprints in the peanut butter
my resolution for 2011 is to fuck him whenever he wants it. this year I'm going above and beyond the call of booty.
Only I can have a panic attack in the back seat of a cop car and have them move me to the front seat.
I asked if he wanted to sext and he just started sending me pictures of his beard.
Mainly I just wanna pet bunnies. And purple chicks. Well any color chicks if I close my eyes. But purple if I open them.
I need a costume
Dude just wear a bra or something hahaha
Is it possible to be sexually attracted to someone's hair?
I feel like I was playing penis roulette last night nd I landed on the wrong one.
That reminds me of the morning I woke up on the sidewalk covered in chicken wings
I'm sexting at my family's 4th of July BBQ and I feel no shame....
I just bumped into this random I hooked up with a few years ago at Steve's party. Talk about a fingerblast from the past!
Do you remember trying to sleep under the pool table while wearing a reflective vest?
Nope.
You kept saying you had to be safe.
Randomize
