I just passed one of the bars and saw my mom kissing another woman. This can't be good....right?
Knowing your life, probably not.
He belongs with you like a mcdonalds playground belongs in Chernobyl
just saw a girl come out of the tanning bed room on crutches, now thats determination
we turned studying into a drinking game, she drinks when she gets it right, i drink when she gets it wrong. so we'll be out soon
Its trashy in the best of ways. Like a stripper working to pay for college.
dont worry about it. i always have emergency bong water with me
The drunk people on this bus are singing Journey songs. This is the whitest thing I've ever experienced
He says we're "annoying" but that's an odd word to describe a couple of heroic liquor saiyans
I arrived home at 7am wearing nothing but my underwear and a fedora. I ate half a dozen deviled eggs. Put Katy Perry on repeat. And cried myself to sleep. We cannot go out on Thursday anymore
I believe the question is can one ever have too many vibrators?
I slid a quarter down a drunk man's butt crack last night. Qdoba gets rowdy
There's a stripper getting there at 10 though so hopefully I'm out before the stripper gets there. I don't have time to deal with a stripper.
I've been in town for almost 36 hrs and I haven't made out with a stranger yet - I consider THAT a record!
i asked your drunk ass where the fuck you were going and you screamed “WENDY’S BITCH”.
If the amount of time the owner spent looking at my tits is any indication, I’d say I can probably sleep my way to the top
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