Say my name once during sex just to fuck with her. Like when it gets rough.
You American Chicks are so confusing....1 day you are on my nuts next day you be trippin
Dude its not just American chicks...a small penis is the same in every language
Sarah Palin is going to have a show on the discovery channel...Can I get a moment of silence for knowledge?
If I had a quarter for every time I had sex in your bed while you were out of town, I would probably be a lot more willing to buy you new sheets. Hope you're having a nice vacation.
marshmallow pipe was a success. so was melon pipe. come try it
Can you imagine how doomed are children are? I mean for one they have our genetics and then we will ruin them as parents. It will be the most magical adventure. Let's not start soon, too many adventures at hand that involve immense amounts of alcohol.
My unemployment came through so I'd like to thank the taxpayers of Utah in advance for my level of intoxication this weekend
I feel like everyone in class can tell we had a threesome last weekend.
We don't have any ice, so I'm using the frozen cognac to reduce the swelling on Abby's toe.
There's a guy in a life size dick costume, and two guys with white shirts that are each half if a pair of breasts in a red bra lol. They came separate but when they saw each other there was some titty fucking in the street, it's only 11
I took out the emergency phone in the elevator and replaced it with a bottle of vodka. The game is simple, do a shot for the number of the floor you're going to. Best suggestion box tip ever.
I feel like we have a good system here turning our sketchy decisions into great stories.
I'm experimenting with sincerity
Just set the kids up with doughnuts downstairs so I could go up and masturbate uninterrupted. I am such a good mom.
I should've known a straight guy wouldn't know all the words to Moana
Randomize
