His vagina is bleeding blood all over the court
it's like i warped into dreamland and the only thing that makes sense is my solo cup
The sex was so not worth the four dollars it cost to drive over the bridge
fter the third song from an iPod commercial played I realized how much that frat sucked.
You got cut off after you tried to make the dog funnel moscato.
Can one of you do me a favor? Light a match and throw it into my room. Bc I'm certain I would rather be burned to death than live in this hell I call my life
I'm supposed to be studying for finals but all I can think about is blowing him on a sea doo this summer
I don't even know man. I was to busy having beer showered on me and grabbing some balls
Unless your apartment has 3 am pancakes Im not coming over.
He sent me a limp picture of his penis with the caption " same ol, same ol' I cant believe these are the type of guys I sleep with
You went over didnt you?
The gas station was closed so we found old PBR and played Edward Nalgene Hands instead
I'm just gonna eat nachos and wine fruit forever.
best eviction party ever.
it wasn't an eviction party you asshole, you just happened to get yourself evicted during the party.
I'm going to sleep with this bank teller and I'm going to enjoy it, just try and stop me
so i showed up to the bars in a sombrero and a tie as a headband... so yeah, they didn't let me in
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