last night you decided it was time to "get organized" and "straighten out your life." You pulled out a bag of troll dolls, sorted through them and got nostalgic. You demanded both andy and i take one and keep it forever.
at a party and just made O-H-I-O out of dicks and vajayjays...i hope someone took a pic i was too busy (; GO BUCKS!!!
I just deleted all the drug dealers from my phone, I guess this is growing up
She put baby oil on her toes and i am not legally allowed to talk about what happened
I decided that $2 and a kiss on the cheek was a great tip for the pizza girl. No one is REALLY sure how much I've have to drink.
Sudden realization: I dumped him because he was too immature, yet I am the one who moved back into my parent's basement post-breakup.
Its only.eleven and we are already chasing a man on a bike with a bag full of burger king
Hows that studying goin for you?
I'm in my bathtub in a robe and jeans smoking a bowl and my hair is covered in olive oil
Scary. I thought trees were a lie and that someone ha permanently stenciled them into my life. No joke.
Hope you don't mind if I never tell my family about you.
I just got a lap dance from a kid in the coconut bra... So not drunk enough for this.
I’m almost positive this girl is drinking a mojito in class right now, if so she’s my new hero
Watching the blind side bc I need a good cry to make sure I'm still human after this weekend's questionable life choices
Well I'm a full service fuck buddy so lemme know if I can get you food or water or anything
Dude, fuck these noisy kids, fuck all this light, and fuck you for getting to sleep while I have to be productive and hungover.
Randomize
