i can't believe you bought a jetta. you know that's a girl car, right? if i hadn't had sex with you, i'd have no other proof you're straight.
I thought it couldn't get worse until she said "Nipple hair"
I'm bringing poparts in case anyone gets hungry. The trek to frat row is strenuous.
Just lit a joint with steel wool and a 9 volt battery... thank you 3rd grade science class
there is a baby dancing on the table amidst the smoke of multiple cigarettes. i want to trade lives with that baby.
She posted on her FB that he moved out...It's like she wants me to fuck him.
We hooked up. It felt slightly wrong considering he is my foreign exchange student but there's a reason America imports. Foreigners got the goods.
That is an awkward looking cockshot, not gonna lie
BTW rolling him off the couch and onto that tarp was pure genius. He definitely pissed himself last night.
Super awkward when the coworker you made out with in exchange for molly last weekend keeps coming over to your cube and trying to talk to you
He told me to tell my ass that he loved and missed it, and even though he hasn't known it long, it might be the one for him
my brother has friends over and I can hear one of them screaming from the basement "BREATHE. FILL YOUR LUNGS. LIVE YOUR LIFE." and it sounds like he's doing some motivational speaking down there but that's actually just how he encourages ppl to take bong hits
I'm at forever 21 and someone pooped in the dressing room.
We are taking a shrt nap on the sidewalk cme fine me if you want but dont wake me up
Still riding the magical train of drugs so, yeah, Id say I feel great
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