i wouldnt be suprised if in indian your name meant "walking lie"
I hate seeing commercials about babies when i'm high
Yeah, I don't like babies at all
dude she wont stop talking about little people big world...she said my penis looked like zach roloff and took a picture with her phone?
i was so drunk that i ate a carrot out of her guiena pig's cage and thought it was normal
is wine microwaveable?
you can feel better about your life now. i slept with a guy who has gold teeth
Its not that I'm getting free haircuts... Its just that she is paying for sex with haircuts...
Had to crawl to the kitchen this morning cuz I was too hung over but really wanted fruity pebbles. yes. I ate fruity pebbles on the kitchen floor.
You said that "grilled cheese was much to complex" and started to throw the buttered bread at the wall while eating all the cheese.
Caught in the act of lying. Lipstick literally all over his dick. He tried to make some story about darkwing duck or some shit but failed to realize he is a complete moron.
She's just done the monthly not prego dance around our kitchen
Then mom squeezed my boob and said, "Dad would go nuts if I had these..."
My philosophy professor just told the class that he is suspicious of dolphins. The stoner in front of me totally gets it. I need to start getting high for this class.
He took me out to dinner to tell me we had to stop fucking so randomly
Honestly wish he pleased me as much as queso does
She gave me a collar. When I asked what this was for she replied "I'm taming your dick"
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